In May 2015, I officially changed my last name to Nguyen.
In the US, it’s normal for a woman to take her husband’s last name, but in Vietnam the women keep their birth name for her entire life. Marrying Huy left me two options: I could either keep my name, since no one in his family expected me to take his last name, or I could change my last name as I had always dreamed of doing since I was a little girl.
When we got married in July 2013, we were still in undergrad. We had another year of school so I figured it would be really weird/confusing to change my name in the last year of school. Even though deep down I wanted to change my name, I kept my maiden name (Morin) through graduation.
On graduation day I had actually wished I already changed my last name because despite being married, the school still made us graduate in alphabetical order by last name so I crossed the stage first and Huy went about 12 people after me. What a pity!
I ended up keeping my maiden name for another year after graduation because I was job searching and I didn’t really know how to change my name yet. Turns out it’s super easy, just bring your marriage certificate to the SSN office and BAM! Done!
May 1, 2015 was the day I went to the SSN office to change my last name. I was officially Audrey Anne Nguyen and that made me so so happy! I posted on Facebook to the world to make it, you know, even MORE official. 😀
My maiden name didn’t bring me any joy at all. In fact, I felt like I wanted to distance myself from my maiden name. You see, I got this name from my biological mother. My mother got married at the age 17 to someone with the last name Morin. They divorced a few years later but she never bothered to take back HER maiden name.
My parents were never married so when I was born, I was given my mother’s last name and not my father’s. So basically, my maiden name comes from a stranger which always made me feel uncomfortable to explain to others.
When I finally changed my name to Nguyen, I felt like for once in my life I was finally proud of where my last name came from. Rather than avoiding the topic of the origin of my name, I’m now excited to tell people where it came from (my AMAZING husband Huy!).
Of course, now I have to deal with the fact that pretty much no one knows how to SAY my new last name. That’s always fun. I’ve gotten all variations including “nu-jin”, “nu-guy-en”, “nu-gwee-en”, “en-gwee-en” etc etc. It’s hard for me to teach you in this post how to say my last name so if you want to hear the proper way to say it, check out this video I posted on my YouTube channel where I pronounce common Vietnamese names.
The most fun I have now-a-days is when I meet someone via email (for work) and then I meet them in person later. They are always surprised when they see me because they expect I’m gonna be “Asian”. I like to tease them and tell them that I am American but was adopted by a Vietnamese family. That’s kind of true anyway.
After more than 4 years with Huy’s last name, I’m so glad I did it. I’ve been able to really embrace his culture and feel proud to carry his family name. If you’re afraid that it would be weird to change your name to a “foreign” last name, don’t worry about it. If your husband’s last name makes you happy then just do it! You won’t regret it!