Deciding Between ECV or Scheduled C-Section

Hi Mama,

I’m realizing now that I have only shared bits and pieces of my birth story both here and on my YouTube channel. I think it’s time to write a few posts related to my experience now that I’ve had a good three months to recover from it all. Honestly my birth wasn’t at all what I expected and I think that’s why it’s taken me so long to take the time and share my experiences.

Related video: 

Baby is Breech at 37 Weeks

I’m going to share my story in a few parts, I guess kind of like chapters. This will be the first. The sequence will be like this:

My birth story in chapters:

1. Deciding between the ECV and a scheduled C-Section
2. Being surprised by my daughter’s early arrival
3. Emotions in the hours and few days after birth
4. Recovering from my C-Section
5. My birth plan went out the window (and I’m okay with that)

For the first chapter I want to share the battle I had with myself when finding out that my baby was breech at nearly 37 weeks.

And so the story begins… This one is a long one so if you don’t have time to read now you can bookmark or pin it for later.

Deciding Between ECV or Scheduled C-Section

On January 21st, I went to the doctors to get my 36 week ultrasound done. This ultrasound was to check the size and position of the baby. Due to the weird way my appointments were scheduled, this happened when I was 36 weeks and 6 days so I was basically 37 weeks already.

At this appointment I was surprised to find out that my baby was breech. She was sitting with her head up and after making this discovery I figured she has probably been like that for a very long time. I had always felt something hard at the top of my stomach and for some reason I thought it was her bottom. Never in a million years did I imagine that she wouldn’t be in the right position for birth.

Up until that point I had been doing everything I could to keep myself healthy so that I would be able to have a natural delivery. I was doing 100 squats per day, trying to remember to do my kegels, and minimizing stress. I was planning to try deliver without any pain medication. I knew I was so strong and as long as I put my mind to it, I could do it!

The week before my scan when I was 35 weeks and 6 days I had a doctor’s appointment. Since I knew I was going to have to wait another week for the scan, I decided to ask my doctor if my baby was head down. He was already checking my cervix and said that it was completely closed at this point. He also said he might have felt a head but he wasn’t sure and I would need to wait for the scan the following week to confirm.

So the following week when I found out that the baby was in fact NOT head down, I was actually pretty upset with my doctor. If he wasn’t sure then I wish he had just said “I cannot determine that without a scan” rather than, “I think I felt a head”. That was just the beginning of my frustration.

My doctor spoke to me about the scan results, telling me that I have two options: I can either try to have the baby manually turned via a procedure called an external cephalic version (ECV) or I could schedule a c-section for 39 weeks.

I was seeing two different doctors at once, and my main doctor (the one going over the options) said that he personally would prefer a c-section because he didn’t like the procedure of moving a baby from the outside. He said if I did want to attempt it that the other doctor at the practice was experienced in ECVs and could answer my questions at my next appointment next week.

I have always been very afraid of having a c-section. When I was in the doctor’s office I kept my cool but as soon as we got in the car I broke down crying. All this time I had done everything I could to avoid a c-section and yet I was being faced with this choice.

My husband Huy could tell I was really upset (obviously). He was talking to me and wanted me to feel better so he said something along the lines of:

“Having a c-section isn’t going to take away from the fact that you are her mother. Only you have been carrying her for the past 9 months. Only you will feed her once she is born using your breast milk. And you along with only a few other key people will raise her for her entire life. How she comes out can’t take that away from you because you are her mother”.

I thought this was really sweet but missing out on the experience of being in control of my daughter’s birth wasn’t the only reason I didn’t want a c-section. I was afraid the difficulties that could come with breastfeeding after a c-section and the recovery. I also feared the surgery itself and what it entails for me and my body and my mental and emotional health. And I feared what the first day of her life would look like if I didn’t get to hold her in my arms right away after she was born. Would we still have the same bond?

The next day I spoke to the doctor who specializes in ECVs on the phone since I didn’t there there was time to wait for the next appointment. I asked him 20 questions about the ECV and then an additional 20 questions about a scheduled c-section. He was patient with me and made me feel good about taking my time to decide, even though ideally I would make the decision as soon as possible if I wanted the ECV since the bigger she got the harder it would be to turn her.

Of course I knew that I needed to weigh all the options and come up with the best and safest way possible to make sure that my baby came into the world, but I also felt like I needed to take my own health and well-being into consideration when making this choice.

I tried to stay positive and believe that any day now, baby girl would turn on her own and everything would be fine. I spent time doing yoga poses to try and turn her. Each night we went to the mall to walk since I heard that walking could help. But with every day that passed I knew that the chances of her turning were becoming more and more slim. I had to make my decision fast.

Then on Friday I went to work but I could not focus at all. I decided to type up my feelings in hopes that I would be able to come up with a decision. I will share exactly what I wrote so that any mamas out there who are struggling with this choice can see my exact thought process as I agonized over this decision.

-My Journaling Session-

I’m at the office but I wish I were at home because I’m not focused on work at all. This morning when I was driving to work I started crying because I’m trying to decide what to do about my breech baby girl. I have to either schedule an ECV to see if we can get her to turn, or just go and schedule a c-section for 39 weeks. After talking to the doctor on the phone yesterday, I thought that maybe scheduling the ECV was the right choice. But now this morning I’m wondering if it’s a good idea or not.

I was making a list of pros and cons for both to see if maybe writing it all out would help me to make a decision but it hasn’t really helped. Both options are not what I want. I wish she would just flip on her own and we could go for the natural delivery as planned but as each day passes with her head up (and hurting me!) I feel like there isn’t much of a chance of her moving by herself. I have been trying to do the exercises to help her out, walking, talking to her and trying to relax but nothing has worked yet. I know it’s possible for a baby to turn at the last minute but given the fact that I have a time restriction on when to make the decision on what I’m doing and which procedure to schedule, I can’t just wait around until the last minute.

If I want to get the ECV I should call the doctor to schedule it today for sometime next week since it’s best not to wait too long. If she gets bigger then there is less of a chance that the procedure would be successful. Even though waiting longer would be ideal to still give her a chance to turn, I’m not sure she will since I’m pretty sure she has been in the same position for a while now and doesn’t have any plans to move. She was really active in the night last night and I tried to coax her down with a flashlight at the bottom of my bump with no success. I’m pretty tired today. I just want to trust her and trust that she will move down when she is ready and that she just isn’t ready right now, but I really don’t know for sure what’s going on in there and what will happen.

The main reasons I’m doubting getting the ECV done are because there is a chance of something going wrong which would put stress on the baby and there is only a 50% chance that the procedure will be successful. I would need to get an epidural for this procedure which is something I’m afraid of doing and to think that I might need to get one only for the procedure to be unsuccessful would be really disheartening. I would have to get another one once we go to deliver her via the c-section so that would mean I would have to get two epidurals when I don’t want any! So between my fear of getting the epidural and the fact that I don’t know how the baby would tolerate the procedure, I am not confident in saying that I should 100% go for it.

However, if I do decide to get it done and I try to be as positive as possible, there is a chance that everything can go well and then baby can be turned and we can have the natural delivery that I was hoping for. I would need to stay as calm and relaxed as possible and I know Huy would support me through the procedure. Even though there is a chance it might not work, there is also a chance that it WILL work. Not even trying to get the procedure done means that there is a 100% chance it won’t work because I didn’t even try it. So if I can try not to worry about the very rare risks involved with the procedure and can stay calm, it could end up in the best outcome possible.

With that being said, if I were to completely skip the procedure all together and simply schedule the c-section for week 39, I would be going to the hospital to meet my baby rather than going there to disturb her. She would safely be delivered and we would start our family hopefully without any complications. The surgery is not ideal for me since it’s something that I really wanted to avoid at all costs, but being faced with this decision has made me realize that it’s not just about me. It’s about her. And knowing that this route might be the best for her since she would not be poked and disturbed by the doctor makes me feel a little better (even though I know for sure that missing out on the chance for a natural delivery for this route will make me less happy about the experience).

I know many women have had c-sections and have had good experiences with them, so it might not be fair to just proclaim that I am not going to be happy if I go with it. But I’m very scared. I’m scared for the medication, the surgery, the time right after she is born where we might not get to have that special connection the same way as with a natural delivery, and I’m scared for the recovery. I know I’m strong and if I need to make this choice I will be able to get through it. I will have Huy for support and Amber (my doula) as well. But with 2 weeks to prepare myself mentally for it, I’m nervous.

The only good thing about making a decision is that I would be able to just focus on what is coming next, whether it be the ECV or the c-section. And keeping in mind that there is a chance she could turn before I reached either of these procedures is comforting. I’m really trying to focus on that idea in hopes of it coming true but I feel like the more I want it, the more it seems impossible. I told her she can do it and I would love for her to move, but I don’t know, maybe she is already a rebel child. Her little feet are kicking me down low as I write this as if she knows I’m talking about her right now.

In the end whatever I choose will eventually end up in meeting my precious baby girl. I’m happy to know that but it still doesn’t make it any easier for me to choose what the right way is to get from here to there. What’s right for me may not be right for her. What worked for someone may not work for me or us. The more I read and think about all of the possible outcomes, the harder and harder it gets to be confident in a choice.

***

I left work early because I was so emotional about the whole thing. After feeling so torn about it for so long I finally decided that I would go with the scheduled c-section which I felt would be a better option for baby girl. I wanted to pick the path that would be the least distressing to baby girl and I felt like as soon as I made this choice, I could relax a little. Of course I was still super nervous for the procedure but I knew I could focus my energy on preparing for it in any way possible.

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So that’s the end of the first chapter. In the next chapter of my birth story series I’m going to share exactly what happened that led me to giving birth to my daughter almost 3 weeks before her due date. I can’t wait to share it with you.

Of course, if you are faced with this same situation as me and are trying to make the choice between getting an ECV or a c-section, you really just have to go with what you think is best for you and your baby, and I am in no way telling you that my choice is the “right” choice for you. I actually asked my baby to tell me what she wanted, and you won’t believe it, she actually did!

Subscribe to my email list on the left hand side of the page if you want to get notified of new posts. I’ll see you in the next one.

Thanks for reading!

Read next: 

Emotions Before Birth v.s. After Birth

xo

Mother of Fawn