Overcoming Postpartum Depression During COVID-19

Hi Mama,

How are you doing today? Have you eaten? Are you getting enough sleep? I hope so. ♡

I know that many moms have read and enjoyed my post about my struggle with my postpartum depression. I know this because I have received so many messages through Instagram from moms who either read it and could relate to my experience or moms who felt like they just need a little extra help and a friend during their time of need.

For that I’m super grateful because that is exactly what I want this blog to be. I wanna be able to reach moms who need help and support and I wanna be able to create a community where moms feel safe to talk about any issues that they’re having. So this was a really big step for me and I’m super happy to see the response.

With that being said I also received a lot of questions from moms after I posted that blog post. Some of the questions that I received I’ll be answering in today’s post because I did want to dig a little bit deeper into my experience and also share some more advice. Toward the end I talk about tips for dealing with postpartum depression, specifically during COVID-19 as we are all feeling a little more isolated and lonely right now.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I’m simply sharing my experience and urge you to contact your doctor if you believe you are struggling with PPD. 

Honestly, when I wrote the last post I may have skimmed some of the details just because it was still very fresh and I was a little bit nervous to even open up. But now that I have had more time to recover and time to become more confident in speaking about my experience I’m ready to share even more details with you in hopes that we can continue to support each other through our times of need.

This post will be Q&A style because I have so many great questions that I received. I answered the questions directly when each mom sent them to me but I wanted to be able to share those answers with everybody here on the blog just so that we can keep the conversation going.

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♡ Answering Your Questions About PPD ♡

“It’s all new territory now but it just seems like the best way to cope with postpartum depression during COVID-19 is to find virtual communities that you can be a part of.”

What was one thing that helped you the most to cope with your postpartum depression?

I think I touched upon this in my last blog post but the thing that helped me the most to overcome my postpartum depression was definitely opening up about how I was feeling. If I didn’t communicate this with my husband and other people in my life like my mom friends, I probably would still be in that dark place and things would’ve definitely gotten way worse. So even if you’re afraid to share your feelings like I was, it’s totally worth it to do so because if you don’t it just gets darker and darker.

The other thing that helped me once I opened up was to just take a break. My husband actually helped me to take the baby for about a week. He took time off of work and would take her most of the day. I would just feed her and hold her a little bit when I when I was feeling up to it. I know that not everybody is as lucky as I am to have that kind of support. If you do then I think taking a break from your baby is definitely a good way to help things resolve.

I also started walking. I have a dog so every day I would go out for a 30 minute dog walk just to get out of the house and get away and not feel like I am constantly on call for the baby. Even after my husband went back to work I would still go to take my dog for a walk after he was done working. He would take the baby and I’d have my time to myself outside. The sunshine definitely helps you to feel a lot better than just staying in all the time.

What was one thing that did not help you to cope with your postpartum depression?

The thing that actually did not help me was talking to a therapist. I know everybody’s different and it could just be that I didn’t click with the therapist that I was hooked up with, but honestly it just felt like a waste of time to me. For one thing, the way the health system works in the United States, it takes so long to get an appointment for anything that by the time I actually had my first appointment with her I was already feeling considerably better. I had already found the courage to open up to family and friends so by the time I had my first conversation with her I was already feeling at least 50% better.

What was your experience with speaking with a professional?

When going through postpartum depression I was looking for the support of someone that I could talk to who would also talk back and share their experiences. I felt like it was hard talking to my therapist because she was literally just listening and yeah, I got stuff off my chest, but I was kind of looking for someone to respond more and tell me that they also experienced that. But she did not really respond and we ended up talking about so many things that were unrelated to my condition.

I’m sure she has a reason for how she structured our conversations but after four sessions I decided that speaking to her just wasn’t working out for me. I had other people I’d rather talk to each week for that 45 minutes so I asked her if I could just be done with the treatment. She said she thought that I still needed help, but I knew deep down I was fine at that point to just needed to make a point to talk about my feelings regularly, not necessarily with a professional.

Of course, I’m not going to diagnose anybody’s postpartum depression and I don’t think that not talking to a therapist is the right option for everybody. I have actually been to therapy multiple times in my life. I went for childhood trauma and I have been for anxiety multiple times during college so I was able to gauge when I was at the point where I didn’t need it anymore.

That might not be the case for you especially if you’ve never gone through something like this. So if you are having postpartum depression I definitely recommend you to still talk to a professional. See how it goes for at least four weeks and then make a decision. You may also want to listen to your therapist if they tell you that they think you need more time. I don’t want you to take my situation as an example for you because not everybody is the same.

I’m nervous to take medication for my condition because I don’t know how it will affect breastfeeding. Did you take medication in order to get better?

One mom that reached out to me opened up about her fear of taking medication for her depression. She was afraid of how the prescription drugs would affect her breastfeeding. I know that this is a common fear among moms who need to take medication for any type of reason whether it’s depression, anxiety, or something else. But just know that your medical professional will be able to go over that with you and tell you exactly how your breastfeeding can be affected and will come up with a drug that is suitable for you and safe to take while breastfeeding. Don’t let this fear stop you from getting help that you need when you need it.

Some moms may also be afraid of the stigma that comes along with taking medication for a mental disorder and I want you to know that there is literally no one that can judge you for this. If somebody is judging you for taking medication to get better to take care of your baby then they’re the one that has a problem. The only way that you can give your baby the best care necessary is if you are healthy so please please take medication if that is what your medical professional has recommended for you.

I did not get to the point where I needed medication to help me get through my depression. I was able to use communication, exercise, and self care to nurse myself back to a stable mental space. But again, this might not be the case for you so I strongly urge you to work with a medical professional to get the proper treatment for your condition.

Do you feel like you’re 100% better now that you have gone through your postpartum depression? Or is there any unresolved feelings of darkness?

The darkest part of my depression happened around 2.5 to 3 months postpartum. I’m currently now six months postpartum. To answer this question I have to actually say that I feel like I am 100% better when it comes to depression. However, I still obviously have days where I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed as a mom. I no longer have that heavy darkness hanging over me taking all the happiness out of my life.

That’s exactly how I felt when I was at the deepest part of my depression. I felt like every day was just awful, I had no joy or excitement and I was afraid because I wasn’t used to having those type of feelings. Now I can see the difference because I do feel happy most of the time but I still get overwhelmed and stressed especially, when I’m running on sleep deficit from multiple night wake-ups with baby.

Could you share more about your experience when the police and child protective services came to check on you?

The day that the police and child protective services decided to check on me was not fun at all! Of course I was in my darkest place, my lowest low, and then something that I consider to be slightly trumatic happened. There were three police cars in front of my house about 15 minutes after I had told my doctor about my thoughts related to postpartum depression. Of course looking back now I understand why they had to do that but in the moment it was super scary. For me it actually brought back some childhood trauma which is why I felt so upset by it happening. I didn’t want them to take my baby away from me!

The police visit really didn’t take that long. I think they were at my house about 10 minutes and they simply just asked how I was feeling and asked me to reconfirm what I had told my doctors. They then ensured me that they were here for me and that they understood the seriousness of postpartum depression. They wanted to be able to support me through what I was going through.

That’s nice of them and everything but the way it happened was just super scary for me. I kind of wish that the doctor would have told me that someone was going to be coming over at least so that I could be prepared. It was just scary that suddenly police were showing up at my door. And then there was the layer of embarrassment because I was nervous that my neighbors were watching and wondering what was going on at my house. I didn’t want anyone to think I was a bad mother!

What are some ways that we can cope with postpartum depression during COVID-19? A lot of the mommy groups in my local area are not having any meetings because of the virus.

Having a baby during COVID-19 has been a very interesting (and scary) experience! Of course when I was pregnant I envisioned what my maternity leave was going to look like. I thought that I would be meeting up with new mommy friends, going to mommy support groups and just enjoying some time away from work. I could see myself sitting in my favorite café with my baby in her car seat having a nice pastry and drink, you know just relaxing and enjoying life. But unfortunately that never got to happen.

As soon as I was feeling healed enough to go out and enjoy the world, the virus took over New Jersey. We were one of the hardest hit states at the beginning of the pandemic so it was quite scary here and I did not want to leave my house at all.

I’m convinced that COVID-19 was one of the biggest reasons that I even experienced postpartum depression. I didn’t have a support system and I just felt so lonely being stuck at home all the time. Of course my husband was around but it’s not the same as hanging out with your girlfriends or other mom friends.

The best way that I found to cope was to actually connect with moms on Instagram or just reach out to family and friends. When I was feeling the worst of my postpartum depression I didn’t want to talk to anybody! But once I started opening up to people I realized the power of sharing my experience and my feelings and was able to start feeling better a lot quicker.

It’s all new territory now but it just seems like the best way to cope with postpartum depression during COVID-19 is to find virtual communities that you can be a part of. Since I felt the power of talking to other new moms about my experience and was able to heal quicker because of it, I decided to actually start a Facebook group for mama support.

If you want to join the Facebook group you can check it out HERE or search The Fawn Squad Mama Support Group on Facebook. I wanted to create a safe space online where moms could go to to ask questions, get information, and just make a new mom friends during this lonely and isolating time. I hope that the group will be useful for you!

The other tip I have is to try and just make the most of this new normal. We may not be able to go out and do the same things that we once did, but our mental health is super important and one of the ways of caring for your mental health is to have a social contact with people. Of course during the pandemic we have to be extremely careful of what we do, how close we get to others, and how we are protecting ourselves. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t see people in person.

I’ve been doing “distant visits” where friends will come over to my house and stay outside more than 6 feet apart. I find that video chats are just okay when you want to see your friends but it’s even better if they can come in person. Of course just make sure you’re taking all the proper safety precautions to keep you and others safe during COVID-19. Wear a mask, stay 6 feet apart, and keep your visit outdoors to minimize any risk of contracting this deadly virus.

You can also try new activities as a family. We’re so used to staying home now but we are allowed to go out. We just have to exercise caution! One thing that you could do is take your family to a local park or even your backyard for a picnic. If your baby is well behaved then it will work out better, but if you go in your backyard for a picnic it works out really well because as soon as your baby is fussing you’re home already. Just pack a little lunchbox and take it outside with a blanket. If you’re lucky maybe your baby will even take a nap outside and let you enjoy some fresh air and time as a couple!

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I hope that this post has been helpful for you! I wanted to share the answers to all of these questions because I thought they were really good questions and I had a lot to say about each of them. If you have additional questions about postpartum depression or anything really just leave a comment down below or even send me a message on Instagram @motheroffawn. Also don’t forget to subscribe to my email list if you haven’t already so you don’t miss any fun updates coming up!

 

Give yourself grace, take a deep breath, hold your little one tight and know that

YOU

ARE

NOT

ALONE

♡

What to read next:

Elisa’s Story: A Woman On A Mission To Help New Moms

My Struggle with Postpartum Depression

 

xo
Mother of Fawn